I want to milk your cow.

Seriously. I want to milk your cow.

Now I realize that you probably don’t own a cow. I don’t know many people who do. And the cow owners I do know probably aren’t reading this. BUT. If you do have cow, this is for you.

I’ve wanted to milk a cow for a while now. Mostly for the novelty of it. It seems so quaint and rustic. But I’m sure quaint and rustic don’t quit cover it –I’ve heard it killer on the hands. Now that I’ve lived as a farmer however, this desire has mushroomed. As have my reasons for wanting to do it.

I want to get my hands dirty. I want to meet the cow that is making my food and I want to know the effort required of her and of me needed to milk her. I want to see the process from start to finish –cow to bucket to fridge. That’s right, no fancy milking machines here –that would be too easy. I want my hands to hurt, I want the full experience. I want my hands there when she gives up her food for her baby so that I can enjoy it. If that’s too much for me and if I can’t handle the reality of the experience, then maybe dairy isn’t something I deserve to enjoy.

Also, I want to see where and how the cows live. It’s important to me that they get to lead happy lives and that they have the opportunity to do cow things with their cow friends and families. Being in the sun, grazing, sexing, mothering, socializing. The least I can do to show my gratitude for their sacrifice for my table is to ensure that they have a chance at a decent life.

So, if you have a cow that you will let me milk. Let me know!

Only Happy Cows need apply.